Jesus.Faith.&.Me.: No Sex before Marriage...?

Jesus.Faith.&.Me.

As a person who never thought I would ever want to call myself a Christian, I'm writing this blog to tell you the story of what its like to now be one..X

God is like a big question for all of us to make an answer to, and I think it scares/puts off a lot of us, so we base our knowledge on perceptions and on the things that we are told are truth and reality. Living out anything apart from that is thought to be out of the norm and naive/stupid. I know because this was my answer.
You, me, and many people will class Christians in all different categories but all that I will say is those categories are almost normally all based on perception.
'If you don't ever read the pages of a book, all you will ever see is the cover, yet its the story inside that will last forever'..
Don't base your life on perception, look and see for yourself.

So this blog is for Christians and Non-christians, theres lessons from bible scriptures, some of my own/other peoples testimonies, videos, music, just anything that I learn from or enjoy!

Thursday, 14 April 2011

No Sex before Marriage...?

Coming from a non-christain teenage life I had a totally different way of looking at relationships, sex and attraction. It is still new to me and I've recently started to look more into what makes christian relationships different and why there are bible values like, no sex before marriage. I always say that my decision to become a Christian does not mean that I now have to follow a set of rules...instead it is about having faith in Jesus and having faith that He will lead me to do things that are only for the best of me. So I wanted to find out why 'no sex before marriage' would benefit me...

We all know what the plus sides of having sex are, and we know that being in a relationship with someone is something that most of us desire. So when we are told not to have sex and instead wait for that Mr/Mrs Right before we enter a relationship...why is it some of us concentrate on the negative of this- giving up sex!.. staying single until the right guy/girl comes along!.. having to be patient!..

'God WHY!? Why do I have to wait!? When is my perfect partner going to walk by? Why can't I have that relationship now...I can see others who are together and totally in love...when will it be my turn?! Is it really all worth giving up and waiting for....?

The answer is YES! God doesn't want us to settle for second best, His idea of a perfect relationship is built up from friendship, its built up on love for each others personality and for the things that make each of us passionate. God wants you to have a husband/wife that stays with you your whole life, that gives you security, that brings out the very best qualities in you... that loves you and shades all your insecurities. So we shouldn't focus on the ticking of the clock...or look at what other people have that we don't. No, instead we focus our minds on whats to look forward to, on the BEST. Surely when you think of your ideal partner they are someone who loves and cares for you, someone who makes your qualities shine, someone you trust but also someone who has an attractive, incredible personality and passion. ...Would you believe me if I said thats the person God has planned to be your husband/wife?

It is so easy to want to put love and relationship into our own hands, it's easy not to accept that God knows who our ideal man/woman is -more than we could. And when we see people who are attractive or someone we can have a bit of fun with... it's hard not to take it into our own hands! But God does not want second best for us! In the world there are a lot of conditions that come with LOVE... take a non-christian relationship for example... I'm 20 now, I know what non-christian relationships were like and have many friends still in those relationships... you can be with someone you get on with really well and makes you happy, you can be with someone you trust, someone who loves you, ...but wait. theres definitely one condition to this relationship, SEX. Some non-christians might not agree with this, and I'm not saying the condition is as a couple you have to have sex so many times a week for the relationship to work... but what I am saying is there are very few relationships now that could last longer than a few months without sex...

I'm not saying people are committing a crime and breaking rules by having sex before marriage, but I want you to look at it from another angle. God created sex to be celebrated and enjoyed, and this is even shown in the bible (Song of Songs) its not there to be hidden or not done! But more importantly God wants a partner for you that loves you for who you are, he doesn't want you to be with someone who loves you but wouldn't stay with you if there was no sex.. wouldn't that be amazing to know that someone loves you for who you are not what pleasures you enjoy together, but for YOU. And then what's more amazing is for that person to love you like that, then pledge they will love you like that for the rest of your life in marriage... not only that but you then get to enjoy intimacy and sex with that person- with no insecurities on why they love you or if they will leave you or if they might find someone better....

Isn't that the love and relationship we all desire? Thats what God wants for each of us. So I will say again, its not rules... its not about what you give up, but about what you could have.

..So thats what I found as my answer for why 'no sex before marriage' is there to benefit me, and call me stupid or say I'm living in a fairytale.. but thats the love and relationship I want! and I know and trust that God will lead me to that.. and if this is the guideline to follow to help me get there then to me it's definitely worth it. To me now as a christian it's not so much about staying pure from now until marriage and keeping sex special for my husband (although those are things to be valued)... its about something a lot deeper, about building the right foundations for the relationship, focusing also on friendship, and thinking about what reasons I give my partner to love me ...sex being one amazing thing to share in Love and Marriage, instead of being a reason why my partner might love me and stay with me...

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My Testimony...

I often had discussions with a very close Christian friend of mine about her views and beliefs, I would always argue the non-believer side of things, and I never thought I would believe it any other way. Until a night spent questioning another close friend, after his decision to suddenly become a christian. While talking I began to see cracks in my own thinking instead of his. Over the next week I couldn't get those thoughts out of my head, and I couldn't understand why those beliefs I had so firmly built were starting to crack and crumble.

After a few days I went to church with both friends to try and understand more of the sudden uncertainty I was feeling. The first day at church blew me away, it overwhelmed me and completely knocked me sideways. I had a lot going on in my life at that time.. a relationship I wanted to work out hadn't, I'd just got back from 5months of being in other countries, my family were all away, and I just felt lost- not knowing where I should be headed next.

During worship I was looking round at these people reaching their hands into the air, and was just taken aback by the passion and energy in the music and worship. I stood, not singing and just watching, and I couldn't help but think they all had something I didn't. In this time I couldn't shake the feeling and thought that something needed to change in my life. This thought kept coming and coming...I couldn't work out where it had come from because until I realised it was true I had thought everything was fine...It was so clear, almost as if someone was speaking to me saying, something needs to change in your life and there will be someone to show you what...

worship ended and we sat down...all the while I was thinking what needs to change then? and who's going to tell me? I seemed in a sudden state of confusion...and all from just hearing a couple songs and seeing people jump up and down?! ...really?!

The pastor Gary then came onto the stage to give a preach, focused on the last week of the Freedoms' 'DNA series'. About half way through Gary started speaking about change! We all needed change in our life, guidance and how to do it...It was like someone was going into my head and then giving me the exact answer to all that I was thinking, through the preach... I put this down to a big coincidence!

The end of the talk came and the pastor told us all to bow our heads and as he gave the chance to anyone who hadn't got Jesus in their life, to just raise there hand and make that first step to say 'Jesus here I am'. I held my hands tightly together making sure they didn't even raise an inch!...My heart was just pounding, I thought it was going to beat right out of my chest, it was a feeling like I was just about to get arrested or something really big was about to happen. I was convincing myself that in a minute the prayer would be over and I could get the heck out of there!... But I suddenly became very aware that Gary's prayer was speaking to me. I knew it was impossible but I just got this strange feeling that he was looking directly into my thoughts and hearing my heart beat at 100miles per hour. ...I then convinced myself I was being paranoid and stupid! ...Until he said 'there's a young lady in here, maybe theres a lot going on or she's scared of making a change but I just sense that she is struggling and holding back from saying, here am I'. This boiling flush ran over me and I'm sure if anyone could have seen my cheeks they would have been the colour of tomatoes. But still I kept my hands firmly placed in my lap.

At the end of the prayer I turned to my friend and said something along the lines of 'get me out of here'! She walked with me out of the building and we sat down in some small park place, where I preceded to burst into tears. I didn't really know why I was crying, but felt very overwhelmed -it was like everything had been shaken and turned upside-down. Once we'd talked and I'd calmed down we walked back inside, after getting some water and speaking to a few people I thought it was all over and I could just relax and go home saying that the day was an experience. But no. Again I was knocked sideways, just when I thought I could stand straight on solid ground...I was asked if I would like to speak to Gary! I was torn a big part of me wanted to say "no, I've heard enough today.", but that part of me lost because deep inside I think I was desperate to talk to him. And so the things that I had convinced myself were coincidences or paranoia seemed very much the opposite, the one thing I was desperate that they wouldn't be... the truth. Gary was able to tell me everything that I was dealing with at that time, he mentioned the relationship that hadn't worked out, and things that I only knew myself... it really was as if he had jumped inside my mind and heart and picked out things, some of which I hadn't even realised I was thinking. And at the end he just said, "God knows what you're going through and He wants you to know, He loves you." I always thought this was a load of rubbish when I heard people say it. But after the events of the day I wasn't shocked to find that I didn't stand there thinking- this guy is an airy fairy lovey christian, instead I stood there completely touched and moved at those words, "He loves you" and "He wants you to know that He loves you". I guess after everything that had happened that day, the truth in those words seemed to far outweigh the explanation of extreme coinsidence and guess work.

The next couple of weeks I went across to Ireland and my family also returned, I was still unsure and doubtful yet I couldn't stop thinking about it. So the following week I went to the church for my second visit, this time I decided to go against all my fears, my reservations, my doubt and instead run with my heart...I raised my hand.

Its been about 8months since then, I can't say its all been easy and a piece of cake, but I can say its worth every minute! Because of going to church and finding God, having faith, I got my life back on track, everything just seemed to focus and suddenly I not only didn't feel lost, but I knew exactly where I was. I scrapped plans of not going to uni and travelling more, instead I was completely happy and content with heading up to huddersfield, and everything felt right again. I said at the top of this blog, I wasn't someone who needed drastic change in my life, yet my life has changed a lot. I'm still me and that won't ever change, but I'm filled with even more happiness, confidence, contentment and love- more than I could imagine. Everyday is a new exciting journey with God, and the old me can't believe I'm saying that, but believe the new me it's true!!

God shows you the way when your lost, He knows exactly who you are inside and He loves you when other people might not. He's close to the broken hearted-becuase sometimes thats the only way you can open up or look for the possibility that there is truth to Him and that He does love YOU. So all that I would say to anyone reading this, is... just be open to the possibility that God could be the answer... take a small jump of faith, because you might just land on solid ground!

Jesus.Faith.&.Me.

Thursday, 14 April 2011

No Sex before Marriage...?

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